Thursday, January 15, 2009

18. These broken lights, they shine on us tonight

I decided to analyze our situation. We were living off my small income, we had an apartment we were moving into in several days, we were all half-starved, and no one, except me and Payton, was having any luck with finding jobs.

Derek only applied to jobs that had little work involved and that gets him babes. He continues to mooch off me for money, and Payton for the car.

I have no idea what's going on with Jade. I never see the girl. She's never at the hotel. Sometimes I see her scribbling in a notebook at like 1 in the morning. I wonder what she writes in it.

Cameron has a set schedule; she looks for jobs from 8 A.M. to 1 P.M., then she goes to the beach and soaks in some rays or flirts with guys. When it rains she either comes to the shop and talks my ear off while I try to work, or tags along with someone while they go job hunting.

And Payton. He's already got a "job." I honestly don't know how that one's gonna play out. When he's with all of us, he gets kinda quiet, but when he's with me, he seems more open. Maybe that's cuz I don't talk much? Who knows.

I really am sick of these people. I know I shouldn't be because they helped me get here and I'm going to have to live with them, but I am. Ugh, I wish I could stop wishing for things. I feel even more tied down here than I did back home. I mean, I have 5 people and living off my earnings. Is it too much to ask for a little help in return?

Friday, January 9, 2009

17. Words and Whispers

Hey Mom...

Just thought I should let you know I'm ok. It's been an interesting journey, and I really love it here, so far anyways. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye or telling you where I was going, but I just needed to get away. Virginia wasn't where I wanted to be, and I knew that if I didn't leave then, I never would. I hope you and Dad didn't worry too much. I mean of course you probably were worried, but just know that I am an adult and can take care of myself. I'll write again sometime soon.
-Jamie



I clicked Send and shut my laptop.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

16. We are the youth of the nation

We sat down and looked out at the ocean for a while. Then I laid back and closed my eyes. I heard Payton get up and walk down to the water. I laid there for a while enjoying the sun's rays and feeling the ocean breeze on my face.


I felt someone looking at me, so I opened one eye and saw Payton staring at me. I hadn't even heard him walk back.


He quickly leaned back and said “I was just checking to see if you were sleeping or were just laying there.”




“Just laying here.”




“Well we gotta head back now.” He said looking at his watch. “Derek wants the car so he can look for a job further away.”




“Whatever.”




We got up dusted ourselves off and headed back to the car.


When we got back to the hotel, Derek was pacing out front.


“FINALLY! I've been waiting for like 5 minutes!” He grabbed the keys from Payton's hands and rushed off.




“You're welcome!” I shouted after him. I doubted that he heard me. Seriously, this kid was beyond annoying.


Cameron was the only one in the hotel room and she was busy straightening her hair, and since I didn't really want to get my ear talked off, I decided to go for a walk.

I walked down the road and sat on a bench. The same bench I'd sat after I got my job.

I wondered what my family was doing right now. I hoped they hadn't called the police or anything. I DID leave them a note saying I needed to establish some independence and that I needed to get away.

Maybe I should call, or write a letter.

I hadn't turned my phone on since I left. I really didn't want the possibility of being tracked. I probably had a million missed calls. I hadn't checked my e-mail either.

I got up and walked back to the hotel. I decided to send an e-mail to my mom.

Hm...What to write...

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

15. He's not afraid to go down

We walked back to the car and started heading towards the hotel.

“Let's go to the beach.” Payton suggested, already turning in that direction.


“Sure, why not.” I was up for something fun. “Do we have to pay?”


“Not if we park somewhere else and walk in.”


“Oh.”


Payton pulled into a restaurant across the street from a deserted spot of beach and parked the car. He pulled his shirt off and threw it into the backseat.

“Alrighty let's go.” He said, getting out of the car.


“I don't have a bathing suit.”


“On you, or at all?”


“Um. At all?” I started chewing my lower lip.


“So when you were packing to come to California you didn't think to bring a bathing suit?” His mouth was curved into a mocking side grin, and his eyes were laughing at me.


“I don't like the way I look in a bathing suit.” I kicked a rock close to my foot.


“Well get over it. This is beach heaven. Everyone wears a bathing suit under their clothes.”


“You don't know that. You're just assuming all Californians love the beach and go there everyday. Some people hate the beach!” My voice was getting a little louder.


“Whatever. But you should invest in a bathing suit and learn to carry it with you always.” He said, turning to go towards the beach.


I had no reply, so I just sighed and followed him across the street.

Monday, January 5, 2009

14. Close your eyes and make believe this is where you want to be

On Friday, after work, Payton drove me to the new apartment and I finally got to see what it looked like. It had most of the appliance essentials, a refrigerator, stove, washer, dryer, with the exception of a dishwasher. There was a small closet in each room, and a large one in the living room. It was on the bottom floor, so we would have a back door and could come and go easier.

“So what do you think?” Payton asked as I walked out of the kitchen.


“It's ideal! I'm just kinda concerned about beds, furniture, and other important stuff.”


“Meh. We'll figure it all out”


Oh that's comforting


“So everyone's seen this place already?”


“Yeah. We came this morning.”


“Ah. So I'm guessing they liked it?” I started inspecting the bathroom and it's scary corners.


"Yeah, Derek thought it was too small for parties though."


"What the freak? We've barely got a place and he's already thinking about parties?" I finished inspecting the bathroom, ducked under his arm, and went into the living room.


"You could just say excuse me you know."


"I'll pass"


"Anyways, Derek likes to live it up, or else he gets bored."


"So I see. Well he needs to find a job first and help earn money before he throws any parties."


"Gosh you sound like a mother."


"I freaking feel like one." I gave one quick glance around the room, "So are we done here?"


"Yep, let's go." He started fishing in his pockets for his keys.