Long Time Coming

29. You don't know just how it feels.

2009-03-23T09:53:00.003-05:00

I sat down on the curb outside the store and put my face in my hands. I heard the door open and footsteps coming towards me. Payton sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry." He said as he looked at me.

I didn't answer.

"I never really thought about your side of things."

I still didn't answer. My hands were still covering my face, and I didn't dare take them off, because he would've seen the tears.

He put his arm around my shoulder, and I just leaned my head on him.

"You should probably go back insisde."

"My shift is over." I turned away from him, and wiped my face.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Take a walk." I got up and walked towards the beach. I didn't care if I walked for hours, I just didn't care.

28. Everyone buried in wasteland

2009-03-16T08:50:00.007-05:00

"Beach time." Payton came running into Barnes and Nobles.

"Haha. Again?" I said as I stacked the plates behind the counter.

"Don't start with that. Derek made friends with a guy who has a surfboard, and he's going to teach us."

"Sounds like um, fun."

"Come on, I thought you liked the beach now."

"Yeah, just not everyday. And besides, I have to get sunscreen."

"With what? Your good looks?"

"Very funny."

"But seriously, every cent we have is going towards food and rent."

"Every cent? So, how are you paying for gas everytime you go to the beach."

"Well, for one we don't drive TO the beach, we drive to a parking lot close by so we can walk to avoid paying to get in, and secondly, we only drive like 5 minutes."

"So why can't you just walk all the way?"

"Because it saves us like 10 minutes of walking?"

"It's excercise"

"It takes too long!"

"So you're saying it's not worth it?"

"What?"

"I'm just sick and tired of being the only one who actually gets paid, and you guys waste all my hard earned money on gas for going to the beach and such."

"I've only had to fill the tank up like 3 times since we've been here."

"Every drop counts."

"And, I HAVE a job."

"YOUR job only helps keep the rent lower than it should be."

"But it's helping!"

"Barely! And everyone else is too busy "celebrity hunting" instead of JOB HUNTING!"

"Do you want them to pull jobs out of thin air?"

"No, but I would feel better if they were actually trying to find jobs."

"They DID!"

"They didn't apply everywhere, only at the places that interested them. Such as, lifeguard, band member, shopping centers, and the like. Granted, Jade branched out more than the other two, but still."

"You know, you could have stayed in Virginia!"

"And where would you guys be? Living in the car still right?"

No answer.

"That's what I thought." I stormed out of the building.

27. Did I mention we are here to stay?

2009-03-11T08:36:00.007-05:00

Around noon the next day, Mr. Mystery walked into Barnes and Nobles.

"Who is that?" I asked my coworker Kate while nodding to the blond guy.

"Oh, that's my brother," she said, filling a cup with coffee. "He's a freak."

"Ah." I said, quickly turning around. He was coming right towards us.

"Hey little sis." He said.

"I'm not your little sis. I'm your big sis. And don't you forget it." She said, flinging excess water from her hands on him.

"Yeah, but you're shorter than me, and I'm stronger, ergo I call you little sis," He flicked the water off his arm.

"I hate you."

"Love you too sis." He turned to me. "Hey mystery girl."

"Um, hi." I tried to act busy.

"I'm Blake," He extended his hand.

"I'm Jamie" I showed both my hands were holding cups.

He dropped his hand and laughed.

"So do you guys know each other?" Kate asked.

"No, we just kind of bumped into each other in a store yesterday." Blake answered. "Ever figure out that necklace?"

"No haha, I gave up."

"Haha. So, are you new here? I don't think I've seen you around before." He asked.

"I just moved here."

"Why? That is, if you don't mind my asking."

"I came here with friends. We wanted to have an adventure or something."

"Nice. So, do you hang around the beach much?"

"Um, not too much."

"Well, we'll make a beach bum out of you soon enough. Gotta go. Later!"

"See ya." Kate and I said.

Kate licked her finger and touched my shoulder. "Tss"

"Oh shut up Kate."

26. You're clouding up my mind

2009-03-10T10:06:00.004-05:00

I put the necklace back on the shelf since I had no money to actually buy it. I poked around in the store a little longer, then went back out to the beach. Everyone was in the water, so I walked along the edge of the water. I scanned the crowds to see if the blond guy was there. Not that I was interested or anything, just curious.

He wasn't around.

"How were the shops?" Cameron asked, running up to me.

"Eh, fine." I threw a look over my shoulder.

"Are you looking for someone?"

"What?" I spun around, "No. Why?"

"You keep looking around."

"Well, I'm just observing people."

"Sounds pretty convincing," She laughed. "So seriously, what are you looking for?"

I figured she'd hound me till she found out anyways, so I spilled the beans.

"Holy crap! Jamie! You gotta find him! I wanna meet him!" She squealed.

Finders keepers. Not like he'd be interested in me anyways.

Cameron ran up to the rest of the gang who were just coming out of the water, "Haha, Jamie found a guy."

"I'll bet he'd not as good lookin' as me." Derek struck a goofy pose.

"Dork." Cameron pushed him.

"What? Cameron no. I only said I said "hi" to a guy who was laughing at me. We didn't exchange names or phone numbers or anything."

"Whatev. It's still something to talk about." She grinned. "Where's Payton?"

"He was just here." Jade said, looking around. "Oh, there he is. Back at our stuff."

The conversation moved to other things. They started planning out tomorrow. Celebrity hunting or something. I wasn't really paying attention.

25. You talk a good game

2009-03-09T08:18:00.003-05:00

My skin was getting a little pink.

"Hey does anyone have some sun screen?" I asked.

"Why would we have that?" Cameron laughed, "We want to get TAN!"

"Well, I'd like to get a little color, but I don't want skin cancer. I'm already a little pink, and I don't want to be a tomato."

"Do you want to go?" Payton asked.

"Well, you guys can stay. I'm gonna go into one of the shops." I got up and started brushing sand off my legs.

"Alright. Catch up with you later." He said.

I found a store that looked interesting and went inside. I started poking around, looking at random stuff. I picked up a shell necklace and was trying to figure out how they wove the shells together. I heard laughing behind me, so I turned to see who it was. The guy couldn't have been older than twenty. He had medium length wavy blond hair, was tall, and very tan. He looked like a surfer, and probably was. He had a twinkle in his eye as he smiled at me.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You are." His smile got wider. "You're looking at that necklace like there's a secret code written on it, and you're trying to decode it."

"Well, you're not too far off. I'm trying to figure out how they made it."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I'm wierd like that."

"No. It's cool." He at the time on his phone. "Well I gotta go. See you around?"

"Sure, probably" I said.

"Later." He walked out the door and out to a jeep with a surfboard in the back seat.

Go figure.

24. We are still just kids

2009-03-03T19:24:00.004-06:00

I really don't know why I hate beaches so much. I mean, yeah the sun's nice, but you can get sun anywhere right?

"I wonder who invented beaches?" Cameron saids

Wow. That was impressively stupid.

"Nobody invented beaches, dummy." Derek threw some sand on her legs

"Hey, cut it out!" She threw a nice sized handful right back.

In order to escape what was inevitably going to turn into a sand fight, I escaped to the water's edge. I decided to walk along the shore and let the waves tickle my legs. The sand was so pretty. It had tiny gold specks in it. The beaches on the east coast didn't have sand like this. I reached down to pick up a shell in the sand. When I came up, I forceful wave hit me and I struggled for balance. Suddenly I felt an arm steady me. I looked up. Payton.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"No prob."

"How's the sand fight?" I reached down for another shell.

"They took it to the water. People around us were getting irritated." He turned around to see if Derek and Cameron were still flinging sand.

"Sand hurts." Jade said, coming up to us.

"No. Really?" I said, laughing at her.

"Just be thankful you weren't in the direct line of fire."

"Why don't you guys actually go in the water?" Payton asked

"I want to, but I don't like going by myself." Jade replied

"Jamie, why don't you go in?" He turned to me.

"She doesn't like to swim." Jade laughed.

"She doesn't, eh?"

"Nope." I said and reached for another shell. All of a sudden I was laying in the water. "Wha?"

Jade and Payton were laughing at me.

"He did it." She said, pointing at him.

"Did he now?" I got up and with Jade's help threw him in the water.

"Oh you guys are gonna so gonna get it." He yelled.

Derek and Cameron joined us, and it turned into a mess of arms and legs. Who knew beaches were so fun?

23. They're up to date with the latest trends

2009-03-03T16:04:00.000-06:00

When the song did end, everyone clapped and praised Payton. I kind of wished that he'd do another song, but I didn't say anything.

"Let's go to the beach!" Derek said. And to my dismay, everyone else agreed. I STILL don't have a bathing suit, but I dumbly followed the girls to the bedroom.

Cameron waived a bathing suit in the air, "Look at this cute bathing suit I bought before we left." It was pink and had tiny little XOXOs all over it.

"Very cute." Jade said while taking out a black tankini with white hearts on it.

"Yeah it's cute." I said sitting on the floor picking at my nails.

"Where's yours?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Uh, I don't have one."

"WHAT? You're joking right?"

"No." I chewed my lower lip. "I don't really swim. I mean I know how to swim, but I don't know...I just don't swim."

"That's dumb. Here, you can wear my other one." Cameron said, flinging a blue and red striped bikini towards me.

"Ok? Um, thanks." I made my way towards the bathroom.

I hated changing in front of other people. Gym was murder in high school. I never did get used to the locker room. After I put on the bathing suit, I looked in the mirror and sighed. Thankfully the bikini fit, but I still didn't like the way it looked on me. I opened the door to go back for some clothes to throw over it, and Payton was waiting. He already had his suit on and I saw him eyeing mine. I knew he was probably wondering where I got it so I blurted out, "It's Cameron's" and ran back to the room.

22. Sing us a song

2009-02-28T15:48:00.005-06:00

I was trying to process everything. I thought for sure Mom and Dad would freak. Now this e-mail confused me. Were they trying to make it sound like they were supporting me, when they were really trying to find out where I was to come take me home or visit me or something? Or were they genuinely giving me my freedom?

My fingers drifted over the keys, but I couldn't find anything to say.

I'll think about this later.

I put my laptop away and returned to the group. They were all sitting around doing whatever. Payton was leaning up against the wall, gently strumming his guitar. Cameron was talking and texting at the same time. Derek was laying on the ground, picking up fuzzes off the carpet, and Jade was sitting cross-legged, staring absently at the ceiling.

Suddenly Jade snapped out of her daze and said, "Payton, sing us a song."

"Um, ok? What do you want to hear?" He said

"I love when you do Shadow of the Day" She answered

"o0o! Me too! You haven't done that one in ages." Cameron piped up.

I sat down against the wall next to Cameron and watched Payton as he started the song.

"I close both locks below the window..."

I was blown away by. I had no idea he sang that well. His voice was basically perfect. I could feel my jaw drop, and I quickly snapped out of it and shut my mouth. I threw a look around the room to make sure no one saw me. There was so much emotion in his voice. Like he felt each note he sang. For someone who wasn't extremely outgoing, he sang like he owned the stage. I mean, IF we had a stage anyways...

I sat there soaking it in, and wishing the song could go on and on.

21. You do your best not to show it

2009-02-27T07:55:00.003-06:00

After unloading our meager possesions, I turned on my laptop and checked my e-mails. My mom had replied back to my message.

Dear Jamie,

Way to set a somber mood there Mother...

We were quite shocked to wake up that morning and find you gone. I found your note and I understand about needing your independence, but couldn't you have talked this through with me and your father? We realize you are an adult now, but you still need to remember we're your parents. We need to know what's going on. We are not mad at you and we still love you. If you do decide that you want to come back, you'll always have a room here with us. If you need anything or ever need to talk, please let call me. I miss you.

Love you,

Mom

P.S. Could you send me an address of where you are staying?

I couldn't respond. I just couldn't.

20. I've got troubled thoughts

2009-02-25T07:44:00.003-06:00

I hadn't even realized until then that we were sitting on a bench. It just goes to show you how observant I am. Guess I was so absorbed in our conversation and my thoughts that....wait...what was I even thinking about? Oh yeah, Jade.

Here was a girl who's appearance was always meticulous, her clothes were always folded nicely, and her bags were always in order, but she didn't appear to mind that our situation really was hanging by a thread. That thread being me.

Her brother was the same way, except his crap wasn't in as perfect order as hers.

UGH! I hate being so analytical! Somebody slap me please.

I put aside my thoughts and returned to the present situation. Jade was studying her nails and filing them. I quickly stole a glance at my own nails. Eww. I shoved them in my pockets. Note to self: CLEAN THEM. PRONTO!

I looked around and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Wanna go back now?" I asked.

Jade also looked around. "Sure, why not."

I felt something hard poke the underside of my foot. "OWW! DANGIT!" I had brilliantly forgotten to put some form of shoes on before I left the apartment. Now I was rubbing the underside of my foot and mentally kicking myself.

"What did you do?" Jade said, laughing.

"Stepped on a stupid rock."

"Smart."

"Shut up."

"Want me to kiss it?"

"Wanna get punched in the face?"

"Not particularly."

I limped back to the apartment and swore to never again leave without shoes.

19. Something's gotta give now.

2009-02-24T09:18:00.002-06:00

Finally it was moving day, even though there really wasn't much to "move." Just the suitcases and such in the car, but we made a big deal out of it. None of us liked living in the hotel. Having our own place gave us a renewed sense of why we were here. To live on our own and start afresh. Our dream was becoming a reality and we were ecstatic.

"When I get a job, I'm going to buy curtains and other things to brighten up this place. It's so boring." Cameron said, practically dancing.

Oh yeah, about them finding jobs. Since they had pretty much combed the entire city without luck, they decided to take a break from job hunting for a month. Pretty smart eh? I just bite my tongue and work my hardest. No one can say I havent' been pulling my weight. In fact, I'm really the only one working. Sure Payton is working for the landlord, but that's just to keep the rent down. It's not bringing in any actual money. That's left up to me.

"So where are we all gonna sleep?" Derek asked. "Hey we should get a TV." He walked over to a spot in the room. "Right here would be a good spot for it."

Why don't you go out, get a job, and buy one then?

After I unloaded my stuff, I quietly slipped out of the building. Jade followed me.

"What do you think of it?" she asked.

"It's pretty good. I just hope we can keep it." Shoot. Why did I say that?

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I started slowly, "I hope we can keep up with the rent and stuff, since we're not getting much in the way of income."

"Yeah, but pretty soon the rest of us will have jobs and it will be easier." She picked up piece of grass and twisted in several knots. "It must be frustrating being the only one with a job and not being able to really keep any of what you've earned." She tossed the sad piece of grass aside and twirled her hair. "But, it must also be nice knowing that you're the first one to get a job get us started in the right direction. I mean, without you, we'd probably still be sleeping in the car in an abandoned lot somewhere, without any food."

It amazed me how this "emo" girl could be so optomistic. I mean, weren't they supposed to be all like "I hate life" and "leave me alone?" Hm..maybe I shouldn't pre-judge people based on stereotypes...

Oops

2009-02-19T08:43:00.002-06:00

Sorry guys for not posting in a while. Life is just so hectic right now...I am working on ideas and i'll post them as soon as i put them together and have time. =]

18. These broken lights, they shine on us tonight

2009-01-15T08:51:00.002-06:00

I decided to analyze our situation. We were living off my small income, we had an apartment we were moving into in several days, we were all half-starved, and no one, except me and Payton, was having any luck with finding jobs.

Derek only applied to jobs that had little work involved and that gets him babes. He continues to mooch off me for money, and Payton for the car.

I have no idea what's going on with Jade. I never see the girl. She's never at the hotel. Sometimes I see her scribbling in a notebook at like 1 in the morning. I wonder what she writes in it.

Cameron has a set schedule; she looks for jobs from 8 A.M. to 1 P.M., then she goes to the beach and soaks in some rays or flirts with guys. When it rains she either comes to the shop and talks my ear off while I try to work, or tags along with someone while they go job hunting.

And Payton. He's already got a "job." I honestly don't know how that one's gonna play out. When he's with all of us, he gets kinda quiet, but when he's with me, he seems more open. Maybe that's cuz I don't talk much? Who knows.

I really am sick of these people. I know I shouldn't be because they helped me get here and I'm going to have to live with them, but I am. Ugh, I wish I could stop wishing for things. I feel even more tied down here than I did back home. I mean, I have 5 people and living off my earnings. Is it too much to ask for a little help in return?

17. Words and Whispers

2009-01-09T12:43:00.002-06:00

Hey Mom...

Just thought I should let you know I'm ok. It's been an interesting journey, and I really love it here, so far anyways. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye or telling you where I was going, but I just needed to get away. Virginia wasn't where I wanted to be, and I knew that if I didn't leave then, I never would. I hope you and Dad didn't worry too much. I mean of course you probably were worried, but just know that I am an adult and can take care of myself. I'll write again sometime soon.
-Jamie

I clicked Send and shut my laptop.

16. We are the youth of the nation

2009-01-08T09:48:00.002-06:00

We sat down and looked out at the ocean for a while. Then I laid back and closed my eyes. I heard Payton get up and walk down to the water. I laid there for a while enjoying the sun's rays and feeling the ocean breeze on my face.

I felt someone looking at me, so I opened one eye and saw Payton staring at me. I hadn't even heard him walk back.

He quickly leaned back and said “I was just checking to see if you were sleeping or were just laying there.”

“Just laying here.”

“Well we gotta head back now.” He said looking at his watch. “Derek wants the car so he can look for a job further away.”

“Whatever.”

We got up dusted ourselves off and headed back to the car.

When we got back to the hotel, Derek was pacing out front.

“FINALLY! I've been waiting for like 5 minutes!” He grabbed the keys from Payton's hands and rushed off.

“You're welcome!” I shouted after him. I doubted that he heard me. Seriously, this kid was beyond annoying.

Cameron was the only one in the hotel room and she was busy straightening her hair, and since I didn't really want to get my ear talked off, I decided to go for a walk.

I walked down the road and sat on a bench. The same bench I'd sat after I got my job.

I wondered what my family was doing right now. I hoped they hadn't called the police or anything. I DID leave them a note saying I needed to establish some independence and that I needed to get away.

Maybe I should call, or write a letter.

I hadn't turned my phone on since I left. I really didn't want the possibility of being tracked. I probably had a million missed calls. I hadn't checked my e-mail either.

I got up and walked back to the hotel. I decided to send an e-mail to my mom.

Hm...What to write...

15. He's not afraid to go down

2009-01-06T10:11:00.000-06:00

We walked back to the car and started heading towards the hotel.

“Let's go to the beach.” Payton suggested, already turning in that direction.

“Sure, why not.” I was up for something fun. “Do we have to pay?”

“Not if we park somewhere else and walk in.”

“Oh.”

Payton pulled into a restaurant across the street from a deserted spot of beach and parked the car. He pulled his shirt off and threw it into the backseat.

“Alrighty let's go.” He said, getting out of the car.

“I don't have a bathing suit.”

“On you, or at all?”

“Um. At all?” I started chewing my lower lip.

“So when you were packing to come to California you didn't think to bring a bathing suit?” His mouth was curved into a mocking side grin, and his eyes were laughing at me.

“I don't like the way I look in a bathing suit.” I kicked a rock close to my foot.

“Well get over it. This is beach heaven. Everyone wears a bathing suit under their clothes.”

“You don't know that. You're just assuming all Californians love the beach and go there everyday. Some people hate the beach!” My voice was getting a little louder.

“Whatever. But you should invest in a bathing suit and learn to carry it with you always.” He said, turning to go towards the beach.

I had no reply, so I just sighed and followed him across the street.

14. Close your eyes and make believe this is where you want to be

2009-01-05T17:51:00.003-06:00

On Friday, after work, Payton drove me to the new apartment and I finally got to see what it looked like. It had most of the appliance essentials, a refrigerator, stove, washer, dryer, with the exception of a dishwasher. There was a small closet in each room, and a large one in the living room. It was on the bottom floor, so we would have a back door and could come and go easier.

“So what do you think?” Payton asked as I walked out of the kitchen.

“It's ideal! I'm just kinda concerned about beds, furniture, and other important stuff.”

“Meh. We'll figure it all out”

Oh that's comforting

“So everyone's seen this place already?”

“Yeah. We came this morning.”

“Ah. So I'm guessing they liked it?” I started inspecting the bathroom and it's scary corners.

"Yeah, Derek thought it was too small for parties though."

"What the freak? We've barely got a place and he's already thinking about parties?" I finished inspecting the bathroom, ducked under his arm, and went into the living room.

"You could just say excuse me you know."

"I'll pass"

"Anyways, Derek likes to live it up, or else he gets bored."

"So I see. Well he needs to find a job first and help earn money before he throws any parties."

"Gosh you sound like a mother."

"I freaking feel like one." I gave one quick glance around the room, "So are we done here?"

"Yep, let's go." He started fishing in his pockets for his keys.

13. The List

2008-11-19T10:22:00.008-06:00

None of us had beds or any type of furniture. All we had were our suitcases of clothes and such. Moving would be interesting. I had no idea if the apartment had furniture and appliances or not. So during small breaks in customers, I decided to make a list of all the things we'd need, whether they were already provided or not.

1: Beds of some sort. Maybe air mattresses.

2: If we got air mattresses, we'd need a pump

3: Sheets, blankets, and pillows

4: Cooking stuff, pots and pans, utensils

5: Food

6: Shampoo, conditioner, soap

7: Towels

8: Chairs and a table

9: Maybe a couch

10: Possibly a phone

My pathetic list grew as the day went on.

I wondered where we could get a cheap couch....

12. A rocky landing on a mountainside

2008-11-19T09:48:00.005-06:00

“Hey guess what?” Payton came rushing into my work the next day.

“What?” I said giving someone their order.

“I found an apartment!”

“What?" I almost spilled the customer's coffee. "Where?”

“It's a small apartment several blocks away from here. It had two bedrooms and one bathroom, but it's almost a thousand dollars a month. They usually charge like three month's rent in advance, but I explained that we didn't have that kind of money yet but we really needed the room. Then I mentioned that I could maybe help him out with anything to help pay for rent, and he decided to hire me as his mechanic for the whole apartment building!”

“Payton that's awesome! When do we get to move in?”

“Next Tuesday. So we'll have to stay in the hotel until then.”

“Well, at least we found a place! When do you start working for him?”

“When we move in. Hey I got to go tell the others. Catch up with you later!” He said heading for the door.

“Alright. See ya!” I called after him.

11. Tell me everything will be alright

2008-10-29T14:24:00.004-05:00

Just then Payton walked in. The look on his face told us all he hadn't found anything either.

“Hey guys,” he said. “what are we doing for lunch”

“Whatever you want, man,” Derek replied.

“How much money do we have?” Jade asked.

“Well, we figured we'd stay at the hotel for 4 days, so that was about 150 bucks. So we only have like 30 bucks left. Jamie, when do you get paid?” Payton asked

“Friday.”

Today was Wednesday.

“I'd say let's stick to McDonald's.” Jade said. “Dollar menu is good. But even that's not gonna last us till Friday.”

“Nope, so what should we do?”

“Skip lunch.”

Nobody wanted to do that. This wasn't apart of our plans when we originally started. Nobody really had any plans coming out here. None, except, living the good life. Now we were paying for our lack of organization. Who knew how many meals we'd have to skip in the future. We still had to find an apartment or something. I wondered how much that would cost around here.

“So, we're not eating?” Cameron asked?

“Well if we skip lunch now, for dinner we can each get two things on the dollar menu. Then we'd have $20 left. Then tomorrow, we'll eat two meals the same way. Then on Friday we'll just wait till Jamie gets paid.” This was Payton's plan anyways.

“Uh, so when are we going to look for a place?” This was now my biggest fear.

“I guess I'll look around tomorrow.” Payton didn't look to happy about it. “So tell me Jamie, how is it that you found a job right away, and all of us are on day two of job hunting? Did you bribe your employer or something?”

“No. I spent like 5 hours walking around this freaking city looking for a job. And on foot too. I don't know how I got the job. I just asked, and they gave me a chance.”

“Jeez, don't get your shirt in a knot. I was joking.”

“Hmph.”

“Well I was!”

“Just don't make fun of me like that. At least I have a job. Anyways, my shift is over, let's get out of here.”

So we all got up and walked outside and started walking aimlessly around town. What a pathetic bunch we were. My stomach growled in agreement.

10. We wasted all our hopes on a whim

2008-10-29T13:02:00.002-05:00

“Hey!”

Arms went around my waist, my feet came off the ground, and I was being spun in circles.

“What are you doing?” I twisted my neck around to see who had picked me up. “Derek you scared the crap out of me!”

“Haha. Sorry. How's the working girl?”

Hmph. He didn't look very sorry.

“I love it!” I beamed. “Any luck with you?”

“Nope. Hey are the others here yet?”

“Uh, no why?”

“We're supposed to meet here for lunch, remember?”

I quickly glanced at the clock. My face must have mirrored my obvious surprise because he started laughing.

“Wow, I didn't realize it was already 12:30. It'll take me two seconds to finish emptying these garbages.”

When I finally finished that, Jade and Cameron were walking towards us, arm in arm. A slight twinge of jealousy hit me.

“Hey, how goes it?” Cameron asked.

“Pretty good. Really fun.” I smiled.

“Awesome. Man, I wish we could find jobs like yours.” Jade said. “Or even any jobs at this point.”

“I'm guessing you guys haven't found anything yet?” I asked

“No,” Cameron sighed. “But we will soon!”

I took a sip of my ice water and listened to them talk amongst themselves. They obviously weren't too worried that no one else had found a job yet. I kinda felt guilty about finding a job so soon. I hoped it hadn't given them false hope that jobs were easy to find.

“So what kinds of places did you guys apply at?” I asked.

“Well, I read in one of the newspapers that this group of kids needed a lead singer for this band they are starting, so I went and tried out. They said my voice was terrible. Like hello! I'm a really good singer, everybody has always said so!” Derek vented his frustration with elaborate hand gestures and pathetic face expressions.

I almost choked on a piece of ice in my throat. I had to pretend like I was coughing to mask the fact I was laughing. I once heard him sing, and it wasn't pretty. I guess his friends were too nice to give him their real opinions.

But seriously, did he think he was going to come to California and just suddenly become famous?

“Aww, that's too bad.” Cameron patted his arm. “I applied to all the clothing stores around, but nobody is hiring. They said they'd let me know if they had any positions that open up.”

I mentally snorted. It's great to apply to stores you like, but let's be practical. Everybody wants those jobs. When you're in desperate need of a job you can't be extremely picky.

“I just applied to any place I could.” Jade said.

That's the way to do it! I felt bad for her though. She had done the same thing that I did, but wasn't having any luck with it. I secretly feared that I had taken the last available job in Newport Beach.

9. Cloudy nights bring sunny mornings

2008-10-28T11:17:00.002-05:00

It was about 6 when I woke up. Before I fell asleep, I had decided that I would head out as soon as I could so I could find a job and maybe rest my mind a little.

I left a note on the mirror in the bathroom telling everyone I'd be back around noon. I got dressed, grabbed one of the room keys, and headed out. Thankfully I had taken a shower the night before, or else I would've had to skip it so I wouldn't wake anybody.

I stepped outside and took a breath. It was beautiful. The morning sun was dancing on the rooftops, and everything felt new. Maybe everything would be all right....

First I headed into the restaurant across the street from the hotel. That was a dead end. Then I tried the toy store. Also a dead end. I tried about 20 more places, and none of them had any work available. Finally I went into a Barnes and Nobles.

“Excuse me. Can I speak with the manager?” I asked a worker.

“Sure hold on,”

“Thanks.”

I waited for about five minutes, and finally she came back with the manager.

“What can I help you with?” he asked.

“I was just wondering if you had any job positions open. I'm looking for a job.” I replied.

“Well, the only help we need is in the Starbucks coffee shop, but I don't know if you'd be interested in that.”

“I've never worked at a coffee shop, but I would really like to try. See I just moved here and I'm still in a hotel until I can find my own place.”

“Well, I guess we could give you a shot at it. No promises though. What time can you start?”

“Anytime.”

“Well how about you come around at 7:30a.m. tomorrow and we'll have someone show you what to do.”

“Ok, thank you very much. See you tomorrow!”

I practically skipped all the way back to the hotel, even though my feet hurt from walking so much. But it was good to finally be walking instead of just sitting in the car.

I looked at my watch. I still had a half an hour before I said I would be back. I sat down on a bench and just watched what went on around me. Everybody seemed so laid back. And tan. Guess I stuck out like a sore thumb. What else is new...

After about 10 minutes, I started heading back. I wondered what I was going to do for the rest of the day.

When I got back, and they were all waiting to go have lunch. My stomach growled. I had forgotten about breakfast.

“Hey where've you been?” Derek yelled. “We've been waiting forever!”

“Not quite,” Cameron laughed. “So tell us, what were u doing?”

“I got a job,” I said.

Nobody was expecting that. The all just stared at me with their mouths open. I laughed out loud.

“For real?” Jade was the first person to speak.

“Haha, yeah.”

“Whoot! Good for you!” Derek cheered.

“Looks like Jamie's the winner!” Cameron squeeled.
“Huh?”

“Your the first one to get a job!”

“Oh, yeah, well I just wanted to get that over with.”

“Hey let's all get some lunch, and then the rest of us can go look for some jobs.” Derek said. “Maybe Jamie can help us out since she's a pro at this.”

“No trust me, I felt stupid. I never was good at the whole job hunting thing.”

“Eh, whatever.”

I was finally starting to feel like part of the gang. And it felt good.

8. Somber words would feign contentment

2008-10-28T09:53:00.002-05:00

When we reached Newport, it was too late to do anything, so we rented a hotel room. Five in one room wasn't too bad, but there were only two beds, and so at least one person would have to sleep on the floor. I had a feeling it was going to be me. I didn't really mind, because I hated sharing a bed. I was always afraid I was going to move around in the bed too much and keep the other person awake, or kick them.

We all counted how much money we had, and together we had a whooping 200 hundred dollars. How the heck were we supposed to live off that? That wasn't enough to rent an apartment AND buy food. I wanted to voice that question, but I was too scared.

So I just asked “Um, so what kind of a place are you guys thinking of?”

“Well, I guess we were thinking we'd all share an apartment or something. You know to save money.” Jade answered.

At least they had done a little thinking, but still....

“Oh. So are we gonna head out first thing?” I pushed.

“Eh, we have all day,” Derek said

Honestly, how exasperating could this guy be? At least I finally knew I wasn't going to be dropped off by my little lonesome. But there was still an underlying fear that wouldn't go away, and it was growing. I couldn't put my finger on what it was though.

We ordered pizza and a liter of Pepsi. That set us back about twenty bucks. We needed to find jobs ASAP. I wondered what kind of job I could get. I didn't really know what I was good at. Back in Bowie, I was a cashier at The Home Depot and I babysat for the people I knew.

My mind was running at about 200 mph, thinking about everything and worrying over it all. But I knew one thing for certain. I wasn't going home. I couldn't and I wouldn't. I would stick it out even if it killed me.

7. The girls and boys making too much noise

2008-10-27T19:02:00.003-05:00

I jumped awake and realized I was still in the car. I looked around. Payton was driving normally, Jade was sleeping, and Derek and Cameron were still talking. I took a deep breath then let it out again. I always had bizarre dreams when everything in my life was crazy or when I was stressed. This was one of those times. Never before had I had such a realistic dream though. I hoped this wasn't one of those dreams that would actually happen in real life. I had heard that the stuff in some people's dreams actually happened after they dreamed them. Scary.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. I'd never been so bored and I was seriously ready to kill someone.

At about 7:30, we crossed into California. We all stopped to take pictures and eat dinner. California seemed pretty nice so far. I could feel excitement racing through my veins. We were finally there! The full effect of my leaving and having my own adventure was starting to kick in, and I couldn't stop smiling. Independence felt so good, I wanted to scream. I don't think anyone would have minded if I did scream, Cameron had screamed several times and no one took any notice. Of course, Cameron was Cameron. We all knew her by now to do those kinds of things. Now me on the other hand, that's a different story. I'm sure they thought I was an emotion-less blob. They probably would've went into shock if I screamed. Haha. That made me laugh and want to scream even more. However, I restrained myself.

“So what part of California are we planning on staying in?” I asked

“Hm. Not sure. Hopefully closes to the water.” Payton said.

I was shocked. How could you not know where you were going to live! Why had they not planned out this stuff? I was slightly annoyed, but I didn't let it show.

“How about Newport Beach?” Derek suggested?

“Sounds good to me.” Payton said and everyone agreed.

I was in flabbergasted. They were going to decide their future just like that? It was madness! I didn't want to be the party pooper, so I agreed with them, even though it killed me.

So Newport Beach it was. That was to be our new life. I wondered what would happen if we couldn't find places to live or work. The scariest part was: what if they all went their own merry ways? Or they were all going together, but didn't want me around? Where would I go? Panic set in, but I tried to appear nonchalant...

6. The Longer we run, the weaker we become

2008-10-27T09:51:00.003-05:00

It had been three days since I had taken a shower and I was sick of feeling gross. I had a feeling I was starting to smell too. Hopefully everyone else in the car was feeling the same way, so I wouldn't be singled out as the one causing the smell in the car. It was starting to smell like a boys locker room. It was sort of nauseating. I made another note to myself to buy 20 air fresheners for the car next time we stopped at a gas station. I wondered if any of my fellow passenger's were aware of the stench.

If all went well, we were expected to arrive in Cali by nightfall. I wondered what we'd do when we got there. I hoped we would find a hotel. Sleeping in a car for three nights was starting to take a toll on my body and I was starting to feel like an old person with arthritis. And I was starting to get claustrophobic. I never had a problem with that, but I guess three days in a car can do that to a person.

When you hear certain noises for a long time, you start to tune them out. All I could hear was silence, and the jostling of the car was rocking me to sleep.

“Look out!”

A black truck had run the red light and was heading straight towards us. He honked his horn with a get out of my way attitude. He obviously didn't care that he had broke the law and he wasn't going to be sorry that he hit us. He would just be mad we didn't get out of his way to let him get by.

Everyone in the car started screaming bloody murder and went into panic mode.

It's amazing how many thoughts you can think in a spit second of time.

Then, the truck hit us. My face hit the window and it smashed, cutting my face into a million places and leaving it a bloody mess. Cameron was screaming her head off. We were the only ones conscious. It looked like Payton had hit his head on the steering wheel, and the window. He was hunched over the wheel unconscious. I looked over at Jade and almost threw up. I couldn't recognize her. Blood, flesh, and hair were all I saw. I couldn't tell which part of her was which. I quickly looked over at Derek. He wasn't quite as bad, but he was still a mess. I wondered if they were alive.

Then everything went black.

5. What would it take to keep you here and my arms bleeding?

2008-10-22T12:54:00.004-05:00

After I ate, I took out my mp3 and listened to my music. I was kinda getting tired of those songs. They were too mellow. I wanted something with energy. The Ipod needed to be charged soon too. I wondered when I'd get a chance to plug it into my laptop. I'd have to plug my laptop into an outlet though. Who knew how much battery time was left on it. I selected Shadow by Ashlee Simpson. Why I even bothered listening to her was a mystery. Somebody bought me her cd a long time ago, but I still didn't really like her. I didn't have anything better to listen to at the moment, so I stayed on that track.

I looked around the vehicle to see what everybody else was doing. Cameron was talking on the phone (no surprise), Derek was playing a game on his Ipod touch or something, Jade was sketching Payton's profile, and Payton was just listening to the radio while keeping an eye on the road. Honestly, didn't the guy ever do anything else? I don't think he had done anything else during the trip except listen to the radio and drive. He didn't talk much either, except a word here and there.

Cameron finished her phone call and looked around. I had a feeling she was going to start talking to me because I was the only one person in the car not doing something with their mind. I was right.

“So Jamie, whatcha listening to?” she asked.

I cringed, oh well, at least I'd be saving some battery life on my Ipod.

“Shadow,” I responded. “I don't really like it that much, but I'm sick of all my other music."

“Is that the one by Ashlee Simpson?” she said. “I love that one!”

She would, I thought “Yeah that's the one” I said aloud.

After talking for an hour about who knows what, my brain was starting to hurt. I needed an excuse to stop talking. Thank God, Derek jumped in the conversation. I think he's one of those people who likes to hear themselves talk. Why he didn't he jump in earlier?!? His game must've been pretty intense.

I looked out the window. We were driving through the Rockies. We've come quite a ways from our peaceful and extremely boring town of Bowie, in Virginia. It's already been three days since we left. I wondered what my family was doing and how they reacted to the note I left them. I hoped they didn't call the cops or anything. But seriously, I was 18 and a legal citizen. It's not like I was a 12 year old , running away on a whim. I was trying to establish independence, and I knew I would never be able to do that back home with everyone breathing down my back. They would've probably ended up making a decision for me that I would regret for a lifetime. I would rather regret a choice I made, then a choice someone else made for me. If I didn't leave then, I don't think I ever would've gotten the chance/courage to do it again.

We probably would've gotten there already if the car hadn't had problems yesterday. We spent like 5 hours at a garage waiting for it to get fixed. I think I got sunburned on my forehead. Ugh, that's going to start peeling within the next couple of days. I never tanned easily. I had pale skin and freckles to go with it. Maybe I'd get really tan in California, and dye my hair a lighter shade of blonde. Then I'd fit in perfectly with all the California blondes. Eh, I didn't like being a blonde though. Everybody always assumes you are stupid or something. Which I'm not. Maybe I'll dye my hair darker...

Oh what I wouldn't give for a nice hot shower...

4. They call me "quiet" girl

2008-10-21T17:11:00.006-05:00

We got back to the car and Derek and Payton were leaning against the trunk of the car, talking. I wondered what they were talking about. It didn't look like they had much in common, and so I wondered how they found a mutual interest to talk about. Of course, Derek was doing most of the talking, so was maybe it was just a subject he liked. I looked in the window and Cameron was sprawled on the backseat, still asleep. I had to laugh at that. The only time she wasn't talking was when she was sleeping.

“Hey what time is it,” Jade asked, “and when are we gonna head out?”

“Um, we'll give you guys half an hour to get ready, then we'll go through the drive through of a McDonald's or Dunkin Donuts.” Payton replied.

“Sounds good!” Derek said.

I noticed they had already changed and were read to go. I didn't realize I was gone so long. They probably got up right after I did. Eh whatever. I grabbed a pair of clothes, shoved them in my bag so no one in the diner would realize I was changing in the bathroom. As usual I threw on some faded jeans, and an old t-shirt. I didn't have anything else.

Note to self: buy some better clothes. I said inwardly, No more crap.

I decided to wear a little bit of mascara. Not that you could tell I was wearing it after I put it on anyways. Oh well.

Just when I was leaving, Cameron and Jade entered, talking and laughing. They had their bags in their hands and I guessed they were changing as well. Great. What was I supposed to do at the car alone with the guys? I was as awkward around guys as a fish was in a bowl of milk. Wait, a fish would probably die if it was placed in milk...whatever I wasn't good at making analogies.

I started walking to the car and by the time I got there I had decided to pretend to organize my bag so I'd look busy. The guys were looking at the motor of the car or something. In the process of cleaning my purse I found some candy and jewelry at the bottom of my purse that I thought I'd lost. I also found a bunch of trash that needed to be thrown away...

“Alright we're ready!” Cameron said, practically skipping to the car.

“Finally!” Derek said, shutting the hood of the car and barely missing Payton's fingers in the process. “Let's go!”

So we all piled into the car and into our designated seats. Dunkin Donuts was the winner and we headed towards it. I ordered a small thing of hash-brown treats and a small coffee. I didn't want to spend much, and I figured this would fill me up till lunch time. There was always the candy I found in my purse to hold me over till the next meal. It wouldn't hurt for me to lose a few pounds anyways. Maybe my stomach would shrink and I wouldn't eat so much in the future. Eh, whatever.

So I settled down with my food, and prepared myself for another long day of driving. I didn't even know what state we were in.

I guess I'll figure it out when we are entering the next state, I surmised.

3. Kiss The Morning Air

2008-10-20T08:27:00.006-05:00

It was nice being the only one awake in the car. No noises, no being jostled around in the car when it hit bumps in the road. Nothing. It was so peaceful.

All of a sudden I heard someone moving. I quickly ducked down and pretended to be sleeping. Whoever it was, I didn't want them knowing I was staring at them all. I heard a car door open then close. I opened one eye to see which seat was empty. It was Jade's seat, and she was headed towards the diner. I waited 5 minutes, which seemed like forever, grabbed my purse, and went for a walk. I walked out of site, and then stretched my legs. I just thought it would appear awkward if I started stretching right there next to the car. I always felt awkward anyways. They all seemed pretty confident and had their set styles. Basically they knew who they were. Me on the other hand, I had no idea who I was. I mean sure I was Jamie Karlson, but I didn't know what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I wasn't good at anything, and I never fit in with anybody. Not even my own family. I wasn't even really a part of their ”family” anyways. I was adopted at birth. My parents never told me anything about my real family, they just told me at an early age that I was adopted. Every time I would ask about them, they would act like they didn't know anything. But finding myself did not include a search for my real parents. Obviously they didn't care enough about me to keep me, so why should I care about them? I just wanted to finally be happy and confident in myself and not feel like the ugly duckling all the time. I'll admit I never really tried that hard to not be the “ugly duckling.” Appearance wise anyways. I just threw on jeans, a tee-shirt, and maybe a sweater if it was cold. I never really did anything with my hair, and I never really wore any makeup. Maybe sometimes I'd wear a little mascara, but that was usually only for special occasions. I also never did much with my dirty blonde and slightly wavy hair. Usually it just went up in a ponytail or a bun. I felt like Mia in The Princess Diaries, always feeling invisible and dorky, but never really doing anything about it.

I was thinking so intensely that I didn't realize I was just standing on the sidewalk, staring at the cars that were going by. Basically I had zoned out everything that was going on and was frozen on the sidewalk with my thoughts. Thankfully I had snapped out of it just in time to see Jade walking towards me.

“Hey! What are you doing out here?” She asked

“Oh, I needed to walk around and get some fresh air.” I replied. “Are the others up yet?”

“I wouldn't know. After I went into the diner to use the bathroom, I decided to take a walk.” She laughed, “Guess I wasn't the only one who had that idea.”

“Yeah,” I laughed back.

“Well you know, 'Great minds think alike,'” She said.

That was a first, I'd never been called “great” before. I just laughed with her. We just stood there looking out at the street and all that was going on. I glanced over at Jade. She had obviously re-applied her makeup and had fixed her hair. Her green eyes really stood out against the black eyeliner. I wondered if that was why her parents named her Jade, because of the green eyes. I was pretty sure that almost all babies' eye color changes though, so her parents couldn't have named her based on that. Oh well, it's not like I needed to know the reasoning behind her name to be friends with her anyways. I did envy her though. Her clothes style totally matched her personality and she seemed to know what colors went with what and which eye-makeup would compliment it. I wondered if she would give me some pointers. I was too shy to ask though.

“I think I'll head back now and see if I can get a fresh set of clothes,” I said.

“Yeah, I need to change too,” she agreed.

“You think we'll go into the diner to eat breakfast or go somewhere else?” I asked

“I don't know.” she answered. “Payton might want to go to a McDonald's or something. You know, save some money.”

“Oh, ok.” I sighed, I kind wanted to go in there. Oh well.

We started heading back to the car. Taking our time and taking in the morning air.

2. The Early Bird

2008-10-19T16:27:00.005-05:00

I awoke with a start. I didn't remember falling asleep. It was morning and the car was parked in a far corner of a diner's parking lot. It was one of those 50s-style diners that are open 24/7.

How inconspicuous. I chuckled to myself.

Everyone else was still asleep in different awkward positions. I decided to take this opportunity and study the passengers. I'd only met them a few days ago on graduation day when I overheard them talking about leaving town. It seemed like a golden opportunity to me, so I asked to join them. They didn't ask me any questions and I was grateful for that, figuring they all had their own reasons for leaving, and probably didn't want to be asked either. Apparently it all got started when Payton, the older brother of one of my fellow seniors, Jade, decided to move to California. Then all of us decided to join in on it. My question is, why California? Everyone goes to California. When anyone wants to run away they immediately think of California! I'm wasn't complaining, I was just glad to get away. Anywhere was better than back home. But there I go again, getting side tracked. Back to my fellow passengers.

Payton Latrouse was our driver and he was a few years older than all of us. He had dark brown hair, almost black, with eyes that must change colors because yesterday they were blue and the day before they were a greenish gray. I wondered what color they would be that day. He was pretty tall and had an average build. He wasn't all macho man, but he was no Mr. Puny. I guessed he was a musician of sorts because when I got to his house, he was loading a guitar case in the trunk. Either that or he just used the guitar case as a suitcase, which I seriously doubted. He looked the musician part. Kinda skater/emo/punk rocker. He seemed pretty nice so far, not like I had talked to him more than a simple “Hi,” or anything. He was pretty cute, that I could tell.

Moving on to his sister, Jade Latrouse, sat in the passenger's seat next to him. She had the same hair color as her brother, but her eyes did not change colors. They've been the same shade of green ever since I've known her. Her hair went down to the middle of her back and was perfectly straight. She had a pretty face, the kind I envied. Not drop-dead gorgeous, but just the kind that usually makes a guy do a double take. She was a few inches shorter than me, and very petite. I knew for fact she was a musician because she was in Mr. Hayes piano class the year I was, and no one could hold a candle to her. She had a similar personality as her brother, but is slightly more “emo” than he was.

Directly behind her was Derek Edwards. He had short blonde hair, blue eyes and was extremely cute. The top of his hair was gelled up into a fauxhawk. He was the rebellious jock type and no one was going to get in the way when he wanted something. I wasn't even sure if he played for any of our school's sport teams, because I never went to any of the school's games. I mean, I liked playing sports, but not watching them. I hadn't even seen him before graduation day. We must not have had any classes together. He was a couple inches shorter than Payton, but made up for it with his incredibly muscular build.

The girl between me and Derek was Cameron Peterson. She wasn't from our school and I had only met her when I got to the Latrouses house. I had no idea if she'd even graduated high school, but didn't look any younger than any of us, with the exception of Payton. She had medium length chestnut brown hair and a very blonde personality, but it wasn't the stereotyped ditzy popular girl personality. She just occasionally made extremely blonde mistakes like yesterday when she said, “I had $100 in here and now I only have $91!” Of course she didn't realize she'd read a 10 dollar bill as a 1 dollar bill until I pointed that out. How she missed that was beyond me. She just laughed and flashed her dimpled smile. She had brown eyes that always sparkled and seemed to love everything she saw. She and I were almost the same height. She might be an inch or so taller though.

For someone who really didn't have many friends all her life, I had quickly made four new ones over the past few days. At least I hoped to be able to call them friends. Who knew what would happen when we all got to Cali. Would everyone split and go do their own thing? Would we all stay together? I had no idea. I wasn't going to let my heart get attached to them or anything, but I just wanted to pretend they were friends and have a good time till we got there.

1. A New Beginning

2008-10-18T11:13:00.001-05:00

I woke up to the honking of several cars as the vehicle I was in made a sudden right turn. The force of the turn made all of us in the car jerk to the side. I was wearing my seatbelt, but the passenger next to me was not, and thus ended up in my lap.

“Sorry,” she muttered as she sat back in her seat and fastened her seatbelt for the first time.

I didn't say anything. I was too tired. I just leaned against the door again and closed my eyes, barely noticing the cars and buildings that flew by. The lights from the surrounding cars and city were so bright that I couldn't sleep. I grabbed my sweater from my bag and laid it on my face, hoping it would block the light and help me sleep. A stab of guilt hit me as I realized no one in my house would be sleeping peacefully tonight. I pushed the thought aside and sat up. Obviously I wasn't going to fall asleep, so I decided to just look out the window. The lights looked brighter than before, the buildings more erect, and the people more alive. Everything seemed different somehow. Almost like I was seeing it all with new eyes. It's amazing how freedom can make a person feel. This is what I needed all along, I just never had the courage to do this until now...